All you need is love (that is, if you already have chocolate).

Wine is made to be drunk. I am drunk, therefore am I wine?

The great thing about progress is that there are still more shopping malls to be built.

The longer I sleep the nicer I become.

When I’m asleep elves come mountain-biking across my belly. Do you think I should lose some weight?

Where are the real men?

You work too hard (but really, it's not in vain because I think of you every time I spend your money).

Woman needs man like a snail needs an epiglottis.

You are 49% red wine, 49% chocolate, and 2% human.

Women are from Venus. Men are from caves.

Who cares about the answer to the universe, let's focus on the question: Does my bum look big in this?

Which do you prefer, your granny or your laptop?