Congratulations on your WEDDING! best of luck with the in-laws.

Congratulations. Now you're going to be even more insufferable.

Get well soon, we miss your charming presence.

Hooray, it’s a BABY BOY! one day he’ll be prime minister, (but in the meantime he’ll focus on chaos, mayhem and general pandemonium)

Get better soon you wretched hypochondriac.

New baby? Aaah! the pitter patter of small feet and the smell of fresh poo in the mornings.

THANK YOU! it was brilly-yint.

THANKS! 'Twas great.

Happy WEDDING day! p.s I couldn’t seem to find the ebony moose vibrator you mentioned on your wedding list.

Happy ANNIVERSARY! (you are my husband aren’t you?)

Happy Anniversary. In the desert of life you are my fountain. On the flat plain of life you are my mountain. In the shopping mall of life you are my ATM.

Happy ANNIVERSARY. You are the chocolate cake of my life: yummy, delicious, delectable and mouth-watering.