49% office worker, 51% ulcer

Allergic to work

Always look on the bright side of life, even if you sometimes feel like a mole trapped down a sewerage pipe beneath an accounting firm

Congratulations, you have been nominated employee of the month. Oops, there's some brown stuff on your nose…

Farts arrive unannounced, make a weird noises, smell awful, and kind of make everyone uncomfortable. Rather like managers really

How to survive a day at the office: Help, my job is trying to kill me!!Stir vodka and peach liqueur in a mixing glass with plenty of ice. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a thin wedge of sliced peach. Consume. Repeat seve

I'm so impressed that you work in a wank... i mean...bank, and that you're a banker.

I'm sorry I can't come into the office today but, quite frankly, i'd rather stay in bed.

One day i'm gonna be boss. In the meantime, let me sleep.

There was actually am 8th dwarf called techie who was a skilled programmer and was left at home to write software in the hope that it would get them all out of the mining business for good.

When I'm older I want to be a vice-managing director president associate chairman boss.

Work hard, play hard, fart soft.